Story 6 | Indiana Jones Sings Montell Jordan
Imagine Indy full on belting "This Is How We Do It," with choreography. Then turn that into a script for a short film.
I haven’t figured out my ultimate writing genre. With my background in branding and marketing, I understand it’s helpful, borderline essential, to pick a lane. Romance. Historical fiction. Sci-fi.
My novel Interlude is women’s literature. I want to publish a devotional. And then there’s this story - it’s a real plot twist from my usual work.
Unlike my past stories, this is not inspired by a song, but it will help to give Montell’s iconic number a spin before or during reading this. If you’re super interested or need some support, here are tips on reading a screenplay. Substack offers limited formatting options, so this script isn’t formatted 100% correctly. That said, it’s still easily readable.
Have fun with this one!
Indiana Jones Sings Montell Jordan
INT. THERAPIST’S OFFICE - DAY
ADAM, a bookish Clark-Kent type, sits on a sofa, avoiding eye contact with THERAPIST, a middle-aged woman looking at him expectantly. Silence for a beat.
ADAM
I just want to get cleared for active duty.
THERAPIST
That’s easily accomplished. You will, however, eventually have to speak.
Beat.
ADAM
I don’t see what the problem is.
THERAPIST
Your C.O. seems to think otherwise.
Beat.
THERAPIST
Look, I’m not here to waste our time. There are many others who can benefit from my help.
Maybe it will help if I tell you this conversation is like a pass/fail. I don’t tell your C.O. anything, no reports go in your file. You’re simply cleared or not cleared.
Adam shifts his eyes around the room, finally nods.
THERAPIST
Excellent. We’ll start again. What do you do for a living?
Adam rolls his eyes and shakes his head slightly.
ADAM
I work for the government. As an archaeologist.
THERAPIST
And what does that entail?
ADAM
Digging. Recovering artifacts. Improving our understanding of history. Lots of reports.
THERAPIST
How long have you been in the role?
ADAM
‘Bout a decade.
THERAPIST
Why does your work have you sitting here?
Adam shifts uncomfortably, stalling.
ADAM
My last business trip. I, uh, froze. When my team needed me.
Therapist says nothing, so Adam continues.
ADAM
I had recovered an asset for a client, but there was another bidder. It turned into a real mess.
EXT. SHIPPING VESSEL - NIGHT
Dead of night. Unrelenting heat, air is humid soup. Under duress, Adam stands with back pressed against a steel wall. Phone buzzes, he reads message on screen. Sounds of men shouting in the distance, gunfire closer. Sweating profusely and breathing hard, he runs a sleeve across his forehead, military rifle in hand.
As he starts to round the corner for better position, a small explosion lights the night and the top deck of a ship. Pushes a startled Adam back to the wall, now squinting, swallowing, trying to recover.
ADAM
Get a grip, man.
He takes a deep breath and starts humming, faint at first, eyes closing. Bobbing head in time. Music kicks in. He starts singing with remarkable rhythm and swagger.
ADAM (SINGING)
This is how we do it
This is how we do it
This is how we do it
This is how we do it
It's Friday night
And I feel alright
The party is here on the West Side (:30)
Adam takes a deep breath and rounds the corner with renewed confidence. He picks up speed as he runs, full-out singing, adding effortless, impressive dance moves and communicating with silent signals to team members as he goes. He takes a new position and strategically returns fire at an opponent off-screen. Team cannot hear music or see dancing.
ADAM (SINGING) (CONT’D)
So I reach for my 40 and I turn it up
Designated driver, take the keys to my truck
Hit the shore 'cause I'm faded
Honeys in the street say, "Monty, yo! We made it!”
It feels so good in my hood tonight
The summertime skirts and the guys in Kani
All the gang bangers forgot about the drive-by
You gotta get your groove on before you go get paid
So tip up your cup And throw your hands up
And let me hear the party say
I'm kinda buzzed
And it's all because (:30)
INT. THERAPIST'S OFFICE - DAY
Therapist writes in notebook, speaks without looking up.
THERAPIST
Has this happened before?
ADAM
Uh. Yeah. It first happened at a wedding.
Therapist looks up at this.
THERAPIST
Hm. Whose wedding?
ADAM
My buddy from college. I was a groomsman.
EXT. CEREMONY SITE - AFTERNOON
Unseasonably warm fall afternoon. Groom, groomsmen and rogue bridesmaids are waiting to enter garden for ceremony. Women in long dresses, men in three-piece suits.
BRIDESMAID
Holy fuck, I’m sweating balls.
She swigs from flask, offering it to group.
GROOMSMAN
How is that helping?
BRIDESMAID
How is it not?
Groomsman shrugs and take a swallow.
BRIDESMAID
I blame Republicans for polyester.
GROOMSMAN
Consider yourself lucky.
Motions to his suit.
GROOMSMAN (CONT’D)
All the juices. Sealed in.
ADAM (TO GROOM)
You look ready.
GROOM
I think I am. I’m feeling good.
About what we were talking about yesterday, this is going to be you next. It’s going to work out, man.
ADAM
Thanks, buddy. I’m sure you’re right.
Adam looks entirely unconvinced Groom is right.
Another bridesmaid, EMILY, joins the group, fiddling with GoPro strapped to her bouquet.
EMILY (TO ADAM)
What do you think I’m supposed to do with this when I get up there? If I move it around, it will distract people. But holding it straight will make a boring video.
ADAM
They probably just want your POV going down the aisle - and then the bride’s approach. Get that and you’re good.
EMILY
Perfect. I swear, we get so many weird requests as bridesmaids.
She smiles at him. He’s silent but attentive.
EMILY (CONT’D)
Sorry, I’ve been a bridesmaid A LOT.
ADAM
Can I ask you a weird question?
EMILY
I just asked you where to point my bouquet’s GoPro during a wedding ceremony, I can handle weird.
Adam shifts uncomfortably.
EMILY (CONT’D)
Right, uh, ask away.
ADAM
As a woman, if you’ve been dating a guy for several years, don’t you want to get married? Wouldn’t it be a bad sign if you didn’t want to?
EMILY
Huh. Well, feels like you’re leaving out some context, but hypothetically, sure, if the intent is to eventually get married, then you should know by a few years in.
But every relationship is different. Marriage isn’t everyone’s aim.
But for me, what would be the point of being together indefinitely if not getting married? Seems like it’s not forever in that situation.
Does that help?
Adam receives text.
ADAM
Excuse me. Sorry, it’s urgent. Work.
Adam walks away. Emily watches him go.
EXT. CEREMONY SITE - AFTERNOON
Adam stands at the altar, ceremony underway. Bridesmaids walk down the aisle. Everyone is sweating in the heat. Woman in audience, his girlfriend, wiggles fingers at him and occasionally whispers to her male seat partner. Adam narrows his eyes at the guy, but then sees Emily coming down the aisle. She’s stunning and smiling, gives him a raise of her eyebrows, could mean anything. Adam finds a corner of his mouth turning up.
Bride walks down aisle, ceremony begins.
OFFICIANT
Dearly beloved, we are gather here today to...
Adam adjust the knot of his tie, sweat gathering his brow. Flecks of moisture appear at the shins of his pants, indicating sweat is dripping down his legs.
He sees his girlfriend giggling behind a wedding program, male seat partner whispering in her ear. He starts squinting and having a harder time with the heat as service drones on. Looks to Emily who is paying attention to the ceremony, then catches him looking at her and gives him a smirk and a wink.
Adam breaks formation from the altar to dance and sing, no one notices.
ADAM (SINGING)
This is how we do it
All hands are in the air
And wave them from here to there
If you're an O.G. mack or a wanna-be player
You see the hood's been good to me
Ever since I was a lower-case G
But now I'm a big G
The girls see I got the money
Hundred-dollar bills y'all
If you were from where I'm from then you would know
That I gotta get mine in a big black truck
You can get yours in a '64
Whatever it is, the party's underway
So tip up your cup
And throw your hands up
And let me hear the party say (:35)
INT. THERAPIST'S OFFICE - DAY
THERAPIST
Is it always the same song?
ADAM
Yes.
THERAPIST
Would you sing it for me? I’m not familiar.
ADAM
What, now? With no music? No wa-
EXT. SHIPPING VESSEL - NIGHT
Adam singing and dancing, simultaneously interacting with team, trading bullets and taking cover.
ADAM (SINGING)
I'm kinda buzzed
And it's all because
(This is how we do it)
Ooo, South Central does it like nobody does, nobody does
(This is how we do it)
YNV, SCC
(This is how we do it)
All my homies I'll never come wack On an old school track
(This is how we do it) (:18)
INT. THERAPIST'S OFFICE - DAY
Adam sings a cappella, a generous term given he cannot carry a tune. Sharp contrast to when he’s singing in his head. He visibly relaxes after a moment, though his skills do not improve.
ADAM (SINGING)
This is how we do it
Shalalalalaloh
This is how we do it
It's Friday night
And I feel alright
The party is here on the West Side
So I reach for my 40 and I turn it up (:12)
EXT. CEREMONY SITE - AFTERNOON
Right back in it. Adam singing and dancing around the wedding party as ceremony proceeds. He makes a big show up and down aisle, interacting with unresponsive guests.
ADAM (RAPPING)
Check it out!
Once upon a time in '94
Montell made no money
And life sure was slow
And all they said was 6'8" he stood
And people thought the music that he made was good
There lived a D.J
And Paul was his name
He came up to Monty
This is what he said
"You and OG are gonna make some cash
Sell a million records and we're making a dash." (:20)
INT. THERAPIST'S OFFICE - DAY
ADAM
I feel like maybe work is giving me anxiety.
THERAPIST
Interesting. What makes you say that? Do you have any history with anxiety?
ADAM
No, it’s never been an issue before. But right before the ceremony started, I got a text with news that the bidder was complicating my miss- my project.
THERAPIST
I see. Who was the bridesmaid you were talking to? And the woman seated with the guests?
INT. REHEARSAL DINNER - EVENING
Private room of restaurant, long table set for dinner. Guests in cocktail attire circulating. Adam stands drinking a beer, with GROOMSMAN and GROOM.
GROOMSMAN
Dude, Adam, what are you thinking?? Who cares if your girl’s not sure about getting married? She’s a 10! Gah, what I would do for a girl like that!
ADAM
We’ve been together for years! Shouldn’t she know by now?
GROOMSMAN
I don’t know why you’re complaining. I can’t believe you’re thinking about ending it.
GROOM
Guys, can we not talk breakups today? For like 24 hours. I’m getting married tomorrow!
ADAM
I wasn’t trying to break up, I was planning to propose. And then she tells me that. I love her, but she’s all let’s see where this goes, like we’re a couple months in.
GROOMSMAN
So see where it goes! Marriage is a trap anyhow.
GROOM
Dude, again. Not today.
Adam, relative voice of reason here. Maybe she didn’t want to seem too desperate and she’s just waiting for you to propose.
ADAM
I don’t know, I believed her. I was ready to propose. I thought we should talk about marriage and then she’s all, we’re just having fun. We’re exclusive, right? I’m sure we had that conversation at some point. She’s always talking to guys...
GROOMSMAN
Think it through, man. You love her, give her what she wants. Not a ring, just the d. It’s the dream.
GROOM
Dude.
INT. REHEARSAL DINNER - EVENING
Adam is seated at dinner, waiters bustling about. His girlfriend takes hand off his shoulder as she turns into the conversation with male from ceremony on her other side. Adam’s waiting for his food, empty chair next to him.
Woman rushes in, knocking over water glass as she sits next to him, prompting a couple disapproving looks from other guests.
EMILY
Oh my goodness. Damn it.
Adam and EMILY mop water with napkins. Adam appears intrigued by her.
EMILY (CONT’D)
To think I was hoping to sneak in... I’m so late. What did I miss?
ADAM
So far, just mingling and drinks.
EMILY
Thank goodness. That’s fine.
Takes a deep breath, trying to collect herself.
EMILY
I’m Emily, by the way. I live next door to the bride, so I don’t know any of her friends from college, and it’s been... I feel like I don’t know anyone here.
I hate being a bridesmaid, but I love my friends. It’s such a pickle.
Bah, I’m talking too much. Who are you?
ADAM
I’m Adam. I went to college with the groom.
EMILY
Oh, are you also a software engineer like him?
ADAM
We actually met through our frat. I’m an archaeologist.
Waiter interrupts to serve Emily’s food. Silence falls between them. Emily drinks some wine.
A few moments later...
EMILY
A boring one or a cool one?
ADAM
A boring or cool one what?
EMILY
Archaeologist!
ADAM
Ha! Definitely a cool one. Are you saying I look like a boring one?
EMILY
You’re the one sitting at a dinner full of people not talking to anyone.
ADAM
Couldn’t I say the same about you?
EMILY
Sure, but I just got here.
Alright, Indy. Truth. You must travel a ton for work. If you could live anywhere, where would you live?
ADAM
Work keeps me based in the area, but I like it here. If I wanted to live anywhere else, I’d move.
EMILY
You’re never going to believe me now, but that’s my answer! Why wouldn’t you live where you want to??
Adam and Emily lean in subtly and continue chatting.
INT. THERAPIST'S OFFICE
Therapist closes notebook, caps pen.
THERAPIST
Excellent. And with that, you’re cleared. On one condition.
ADAM
Wait, what? That’s it? I thought you were going try to convince me I have PTSD or that I’m crazy because of the songs. But I swear, I’m good.
THERAPIST
Adam, when you sang aloud just now, your entire body relaxed, and you became more communicative with me. Singing in your head is a productive outlet supporting your mental health. You let go of stress and become more focused on the task at hand. I have no concerns there - sing away.
Our goal today is to clear up this stress so it no longer impacts your work.
You’ve been in this line of work for a decade and never encountered this before. Work is not the source of stress.
ADAM
What is?
THERAPIST
Your love triangle.
Adam looks incredulous and slightly embarrassed.
THERAPIST (CONT’D)
I’m guessing the text you received when on the ship was either from your girlfriend or the bridesmaid. Am I right?
Adam nods.
THERAPIST (CONT’D)
When you met the bridesmaid, she confirmed what you already knew to be true.
ADAM
Which is what?
THERAPIST
There’s something off in your relationship with your girlfriend.
I’ll have you reinstated if you to promise to do one thing for me, today.
ADAM
I promise. I’ll do whatever you need me to do. I just want to get back to work.
THERAPIST
Perfect. It’s simple.
Therapist leans forward.
THERAPIST (CONT’D)
Call her and tell her how you feel.
Now.
Therapist taps watch. Adam winces and hangs head.
EXT. THERAPIST'S OFFICE - AFTERNOON
Adam paces outside office building, turning cell phone over in hand. Pounding sun, he starts to sweat.
He suddenly stops, resolutely dials number.
FEMALE VOICE (OFF SCREEN, FROM PHONE)
Hello?
Music kicks in as Adam responds.
ADAM (SINGING)
You see the hood's been good to me...
END CREDITS
EXT. THERAPIST'S OFFICE - EVENING
Therapist crosses parking lot with bag in hand. Unlocks and enters her car. Turns ignition. Radio lights up.
RADIO
This is how we do it
Tell me: who would you cast as Adam? Or Groomsman and Bridesmaid?!
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Next Week’s Plot Twist…
This post was already super long, so I’ll keep this short. Next week, I’m sharing a chapter from one of my completed novels!
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I want to watch this RIGHT NOW