Story Four | Dispatches From Cannes, pt 2
Story Four | Dispatches From Cannes, pt 2
The conclusion of my 2005 Cannes Film Festival internship recap, this time with subtle cultural commentary, yet still riddled with typos.
We’re back with my second trio of emails taking you behind the scenes of my internship at the Cannes Film Festival in the south of France.
When rereading these emails in preparing to share with you, I was surprised by some of my commentary on the treatment of women and how I explained the steps I go through to ensure I’m protected in moments that have an edge of uncertainty. My tone when recounting this is fascinating - I assume it’s just the way it is and blithely move on.
There’s also plenty of glitz and mishaps below - dobermans unleashed on party crashers… Again, typos preserved for historical accuracy.
This batch concludes this little two-part series. For reference, here’s part 1:
Dispatches From Cannes, pt 2
RE: "Working" at Cannes.......
Mon, May 16, 2005, 8:16 AM
Bonjour a tous!
Let me give you an example of what I do at the Independent Film and Television Alliance booth. I work here 6 hours a day and am their "receptionist" but this is difficult considering I know nothing about the "Alliance." This was a sample conversation today with four gentleman. One of my rare conversations in pure English. Note that the setting is in a crowded exposition hall with tons of booths everywhere, people milling about, and Guy #4 is circling me videotaping the whole conversation. And it's never a good sign when people walk by the booth, catch your eye, pass and then turn around to come back and talk to you....
Guy #1: "Excuse me, could you tell me a little about the Independent Film and Television Alliance?"
Me [rehearsed]: "Yes the IFTA is a trade association of film distributors."
Guy #2: "So like a trade union?"
Me [thrown off of rehearsed lines]: "Uh, no, an association."
Guy #3 [big jerk]: "No, it's alliance. And all the members get to carry swords, right."
Me [in a tone I though was a fun sarcastic but I'm watching the camera dude zoom in on me once they mentioned swords]: "Yes, massive swords."
Guy #2 [addressing me]: "No it was a joke you were supposed to laugh."
Guy #1: "I though what she said was funnier, I'm laughing. Oh don't mind the camera. What did you do last night, you look like you were up late dancing and drinking."
Me [inserting foot in mouth]: "No, I was up late, but not dancing and drinking."
Guy 1,2,3: "Really, what were you up to then? Not drinking! Oh, look she's turning red. Was that too private of a question?"
At that point the cameraman had entered the booth and was filming from behind me and all the other guys started laughing. GREAT SCOTT. Guy #1 led them away and very pointedly told me he would be sure to see me later. Ack. Fortunately, I've made friends with the Kodak guy, the guys in the booth across from mine and the guy who delivers the papers (women don't work here), so maybe they'll protect me from the scary camera crew. The security guards are on my black list - at the very top - the police come next because they are the exact same way. I understand French. Those dimwits. Half of them are 60 and shouldn't be talking to me in that way anyways. Sadly, I have to go through security about 20-30 times a day, so they know me quite well. Sometimes Europeans are just too weird for me.
Got tickets again last night. My principal duties as a receptionist are to sit in my assigned chair or fetch the night's tickets. As such, they tend to throw one every night my way which is awesome because I've gone to a third red carpet now (amazing Italian film, I was twenty feet away in the theatre from the entire cast, definitely some cute Italian men) - I had two for last night but found other plans when we should have been at the second one. Aka the guys from the program I was with thought it would be fun to break into the Star Wars after party. So me, four guys and a random chick tried to get in and failed miserably but it was truly hilarious. There were about 10 enormous security guards and a pack of dobermans at the barricade which was 50 yards from the front door and subsequent entry. One of the guys in the group thinks he's hot stuff - yeah, well even his smooth talking couldn't get us in. Then we made friends with these three guys on the side of the tent who effectively ripped a hole in the tent, had to climb on a roof and then jump down into the party or something but the guards caught on really quick and let the dogs loose and the men were eaten, except the one hiding on the roof (genius). We just pulled the smooth talker away from following the guys when the dogs were let loose. Great fun. And you must remember we're all in formal attire and I'm running around in four inch heels. I LOVE that the guys have to be in tuxes all the time. Or if we're not going to a screening, they have to be dressed to the nines or they'll never get in anywhere. And I didn't get home until 3:45 anyways, but that's another story...
I've made terrific friends with my roommate - she's crazy fun and this morning I woke up to her yelling at people who were being too and rousing me from my sleep. That and the chaperon in our apartment is amazing. I dressed her all up for the red carpet last night in my jewelery and we both made our makeup bags our clutches and she is so much fun!
Those are my stories for today - I have tix again tonight but am going to give them to a friend who is just the biggest fan of Cronenberg ever (no I have no idea who that is either hence why I am giving him the ticket, though Viggo Mortensen is the star and will be at the screening... but they're not orchestra seats so fine - oh dear, i've become a snob). Expect postcards in week if you sent me your address. If you haven't I have nothing to do all day at work so feel free.
Elisabeth
Oh hey, any suggestions for a stage name? I was trying to think one up earlier. Don't ask.
RE: Subversive in Cannes
Wed, May 18, 2005, 9:33 AM
Hi hi
TUESDAY A week and a half out of school and it occurs to me that France is the perfect place to desensitize myself to open containers. A month ago, I would flinch at the very least, glare most likely, sometimes just openly yell. Today, I walked down the street for 15 minutes not realizing that the guy I was talking to was actually holding a open beer the whole time. Woohoo! It's a small but notable victory. Ok whatever.
Moving on. Yesterday became a bitter day at work after my boss called me from his leisurely luncheon on the beach and asked me to come fetch him and walk him back to the office - a 15 minute walk - because he needed something immediately that he had forgotten. You're probably saying to yourself that this situation is not so bad and I should not be complaining. Well, what he needed was his umbrella and it was pouring rain. BITTTTTTER. I am no longer sucking up to him that's for sure. Big jerk. I was completely drenched - but that's not what I care about - how degrading! And then I come back and some guy I know here from the VCU French Film Festival in Richmond came up to me said hello and then we began a very short interchange that I will not share with you but when I told my boss she said he would be ejected from the place if he ever came by again. The nerve of these people. Just after that, they sent me to go get their tickets for the evening. After an hour and a half of mix-ups, delays, people belittling my French (jerks), I finally got the tickets and came back to the office when they sent me promptly back to the ticket place because - guess what - they had changed their minds and didn't want to use them anymore. So I gave one of the tickets away to some guy on the street. Just 1 of the 5. And I took out my rage on one of the security guards - hehe. That part was fun.
Aha, lunch with Ben McKenzie and Pell James (starring in Broken Flowers and The King - if you haven't heard of those movies, you will, I assure you). Ok, apparently Mr. McDiva is watching his weight because he didn't actually eat, just drank a beer. Got a pic, that's all I care about because I feel like I need proof. OOOOOoooo I just remembered!!! I saw Toni Morrison!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know I've seen her before at school but that was in a huge auditorium and she was really far away. But this time - whoa. Haha it wasn't that big of a deal. A car passed by me when in the staging area - she was sitting in the back seat. She was literally twelve inches away from me. Aaaaa she is so cool, SO talented, so smart, has a great vocabulary. Ben McWhatever who cares.
This festival is really long. It's only day 7 and I'm 1) exhausted, 2) want a day off from work and 3) really we still have 5 more days. I'm sleeping 12 hours a night every other night (and none the other night), which is random as all get out, I realize but it's just because I have been randomly passing out and have no recollection of anything and just wake up the next day in my clothes totally surprised that I even fell asleep.
WEDNESDAY So I was talking with my boss today - she is the CEO, President, whatever, and we're talking about how seeing celebrities is rather anti-climatic. She brings up Mischa Barton, then we talk about The OC for a minute and a half and at the end, she tells me that the show is filmed in her neighborhood right down the street. <Pause.> If you've seen the show, you know that the houses on the show are RIDICULOUSLY big and aren't they on the water and have a pool or something totally over the top and frivolous. SHE, a real life, nonfiction person, lives there for real. Blaaaaaaaah this is so strange. People here are just so rich.
Forecast for the evening: 75% chance I will be walking the red carpet with Jessica Alba, Brittany Murphy, Mickey Rourke, Benicio del Toro and Michael Masden at the "Sin City" screening tonight. (This means Salma Hayek and Javier Bardem will probably show and I would love to see Toni Morrison get all dressed up to come out and watch this crazy movie. Let me tell you, that would be awesome, despite the fact that I absolutely hate guns and this movie is supposedly chock full. They are perhaps the hardest tickets to get for the entire festival, outside of "Stars Wars" but a) I'm not that big of a nerd and b) it wasn't even in competition. Rumors are that Sin City will win the Festival because of the cinematography/use of green screen. We'll see. Also, in the news today here, it was noted that Sin City 2 productions has already begun. Maybe that will tie up all those loose ends everyone has been complaining about.
2 hours later... It's official. I'm going to Sin City tonight!!!!!! All the other students are going to really dislike me. AND my bosses hooked me up with 2 orchestra seats for Natalie Portman's "Free Zone" tomorrow night and given me a pass to get into everything else for the rest of the festival as I have found out that tomorrow is my last day working - the 19th. I'm here until the 24th and all I have to do is watch movies and shop!!!! (I'm no longer bitter ps). Hehe. Now the real fun begins..…
RE: because I did seemingly fall off the face of the planet
May 31, 2005, 2:48 PM
But no worries, I just stopped emailing because Cannes became crazy fun and work ended which meant my email access was limited to 10 minute spurts and as I like to write super long emails, it just wasn't appropriate to start writing my final email like that. Yup, my parents thought I had been kidnapped, especially after the one line email that I sent asking for my pin to my ATM card which I forgot and I desperately needed some cash for shopping. Oh well.
So yes, Sin City premiere. Sin City was produced in part by a production company called Troublemaker Studios and true to their guerrilla marketing tactics, they screwed the Cannes Film Festival (and some of the movie-goers) over by passing out about 400 tickets too many to the premiere - aka unadulterated mayhem. I was one of the 400 sadly so I got ushered into a side theatre and watched French people scream at the security guards for hours and in this side theatre, you couldn't watch the red carpet events so I didn't even see who came - booooo that. Although, when I went in, Brittany Murphy was on the red carpet at the same time as me which was fun. Yeah, I was really late. And the movie was fine, I don't know what all these people were talking about it being violent. Granted I had my hands over my eyes for about all of it so I didn't actually see anyone die full on....
Can I just take a brief moment to proclaim how much I love all the new friends I made at the AmPav - two of the guys are iming right now. I'll probably see one of them soon when I go to NYC for interviews (which are not set up and are fictional at this point but WILL happen) and I have plans to meet up with at least 4 or 5 of them in LA when I have more fictional interviews.
OK, so back to the saga that is Cannes. I ended up scoring 4 tickets to the premiere of "Free Zone" (Natalie Portman's film) - three rows away from where the actresses and director sat - three rows away from where Natalie Portman would have sat if she didn't have to promote fricking Star Wars in the United States. Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. So sad. However, two notes. One the movie was AWESOME. In the sense of the first shot is one of a closeup of Natalie Portman's face and she just cries, wordlessly, for 8 minutes. And it is awe-inspiring. You can't fake acting in an 8 minute shot. And there were two songs in there that I'm just dying to find because again, perfect for the movie and the tone for all their relationships. Two, the woman who played opposite Natalie won best actress for the entire festival and she was there so that was waaaaay cool. Plus, the company was the best - Paige, Chad and Rob. Oooo I forgot part of the story. Ok, so we knew it was our last red carpet, so Paige and I went alllll out. When you walk the red carpet as a pedestrian person with a ticket (the famous ones don't exactly flash a ticket and id to get in), there are a lot of other people walking at the same time. For some reason when we walked this time, everyone was on one side of the carpet like lemmings walked straight up the carpet. So Paige and I grabbed our dates and walked up the side where no one was walking and me being tall and she with her crazy Cali sunglasses and our hot dates, well we totally got on the tv screen the size of the building that flash out over the crowd and it was sooo awesome. Saw some more famous people - John Woo, Salma Hayek again, Morgan Freeman, Tommy Lee Jones - oooo told Danny Glover he was amazing (because of his performance in a A Raisin in the Sun) but he didn't respond. Love the backstage pass.
In the time since our last red carpet and now, I've been to an unbelievably crazy beach party (think 140 film students on the beach at 2am) and we owned the local Irish pub every night during the last week of the festival. Then we had to say goodbye and exchange information with a million people and then Paige and I had a fabulous trip to Paris, where I titled and started my new book - due out in December (and when I mean due out, I mean I will haul myself to a Kinkos and print some copies out for you if I like the book) - and Paris is also where I met a David Beckham look alike (soooo hot and I have pics). And then I went to Nice and met up with two guys from the program and we had a wild night for sure - I got to watch them hit on three 30-year-old women from Texas who worked for Haliburton. GOOD TIMES. And then I went home and slept and woke up and went to a stupendous wedding - The Mazanecs!! - and saw a bunch of Richmond friends who I love and miss and tomorrow morning I'm going back to Richmond to babysit and work downtown at an ad agency - Siddall. I get all my pictures back tonight (so excited!!) but three friends from the AmPav have already sent me their pictures so I've attached two to this email that are exceedingly random - one is the view from my hotel room over Cannes la Bocca and the other is a picture of the Palais des Festivals during a late afternoon premiere. Enjoy!!!!!!!
Miss you all!
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Next Week’s Plot Twist…
We return to the short-story-inspired-by-a-song concept, this time working from Dido’s “Grafton Street.” This was my first attempt at this concept, written many years ago, when Dido was still current. The following week, I should have a short film screenplay for you!
Last week’s story:
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